In search of something new

I'm not happy with myself these days; I've allowed myself to go from having a routine to digging myself a deep rut I can't seem to get out of.

Sunday through Friday I go to class, write stories for the Collegian, and take care of Emma. I love all three and want them to continue. I've also been doing photography jobs every couple of weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less. Therein lies the problem, I fear.

I'm not happy with my photography work. Sure, it looks nice. Sure, it constantly gets emotional gasps and fervent interest from people in my community. Sure, people are willing to pay money for it. Sure, I am growing successful with it.

But it doesn't make me happy the way it used to. All I've been doing lately are football games and football portraits and while I love that it has left me feeling unsatisfied lately.

I've been allowing myself to stay inside a shell, to keep with something I know and not expand my horizons any more. I need to do something new. I need to do something bold.

And there's this plan I've been bouncing around in my head lately. I want to set up a tiny, cheap, temporary studio somewhere in Council Grove during Thanksgiving break and ask people to come in and let me make a simple portrait of them. No special props, Black and White images, just the camera, soft lighting, a blank background, and a person.

And that's where I want to be bold. I want to get people to make a face. Any face. A smile. A frown. A dirty, angry look. A tongue sticking out into the wind. A sexy look.

To sum up: I want to get people to look me in the lens say with their face whatever it is they want to say to the world

And I want 100 of them to do it. That's right, 100 images. And then I want to arrange them all on a poster. I'm thinking 10 pictures by 10 pictures, each one 2" tall and 3" wide, on a 20x30" poster, since that is the largest my printer currently does.

I"m also thinking about doing it at twice the resolution (number of pixels) needed to do a 20x30", so if I ever find a company that I trust who can do a 40x60" or such, I can do that.

Still with me?

Here's my desire: I want to document people in an honest form. I want to put forth a simple, clear, real depiction of real small-town Kansans. And I want to make myself better at making good, honest portraits of people.

And I want to do something new, something I've never done before. Any volunteers?