Screwing up

Song in my heart: In my own mind by Lyle Lovett

Somewhere in Hartford, Connecticut, in the newsroom of the Hartford Courant, I am probably being laughed at.

Today I interviewed two of their staffers on something their staff did that got them an award that I cannot name and I botched it. I expected them to be proud and such of their accomplishment, which I assure you, was something else, but they were most nonchalant and they were confused with my line of questions.

Thus, I'm probably being laughed at for having sounded like a total idiot, but I guess I can't help that. I can always hope that they were just trying to be humble and are bursting with pride inside, but now I'm getting into wacky possibilities that I shouldn't worry about.

I guess it's kind of fitting, you know, for this to happen after all that hullaballoo I raised over my Alton Brown story. Hell, it might very well be the result.

Thus, I remember:

When I decided to dive headfirst into the shallow pool that is journalism some time ago, I gave myself a rule by which to live when it came to times when I don't feel so proud. When I'm being told my story is a piece of crap and needs a complete rewrite, when I'm mocked by colleagues and editors, or when I'm denied a job and told I'm not good enough. When I fail, when I misjudge, when I do wrong... you get the picture.

I had to remember that rule at the Collegian, at the Mercury, and more than ever, here.

I'd like to share that rule with you, as sappy as it is...

Logan:
You knew damned well when you started down this path that there would be thorns, that there'd be rocks, that you'd encounter twists and turns and that at times it would hurt just to think about moving forward.

You knew damned well that the path would collapse from under you when you least expected it, and that you'd have to climb your own damned way out.

You may not have seen this coming, but you knew damned well it could and probably would happen at some point. This is not the end of the world, this is just the beginning of your troubles.

So get moving again; it's not like you've got anything to lose but ego, and since when has that done you any damned good?

And now it doesn't feel so bad. In fact, it feels fine.