Another reason to be proud of my father:

I have many reasons to be proud of my father.

He's a hard-working man who earned everything he owned and allowed me to reach the age of 19 and not once trying to kill me, no matter how much I tempted him.

But here's another reason: He never invited Fred Phelps to protest at my school.

Yeah Dad, I just used you to make political commentary. Aren't you proud of me?